Why Feeling Your Feelings Actually Works
This week I want to put you onto a TED Talk that every anxious girlie (hi, yes, us) needs to watch.
“How to Make Anxiety Your Friend” by Dr. David H. Rosmarin is basically the pep talk your nervous system has been begging for. Instead of treating anxiety like the villain in a Lifetime movie, he reframes it as a strength — a built-in survival tool that actually makes you more resilient. Wild, I know.
And honestly? Learning to handle anxious moments instead of trying to karate-chop them out of your body is way healthier (and way less exhausting). We all experience anxiety. It’s normal. So unclench your jaw, drop your shoulders, and take a breath. You’re doing amazing.
Dr. Rosmarin explains that every time you experience anxiety, your brain is basically adding a page to your personal “Anxiety Field Guide.” The more pages you collect, the better prepared you are for next time.
His advice? Acknowledge your feelings. FEEL the feelings. Give yourself space to process them. Because if you suppress your anxiety, you’re just slow-cooking an emotional explosion for Future You — and she does NOT deserve that.
The 4 Steps to Making Anxiety Work For You (not against you)
Identify – What exactly are you worried about? Why is your brain screaming? Get specific.
Share – Call someone in your circle and tell them you need support. You’re not a burden — you’re a human.
Embrace – Let the anxiety happen. Seriously. This is when your brain is taking notes and building resilience. Anxiety loves unfamiliarity, so give yourself credit: you’re learning.
Let Go – When you’re done processing and feel grounded again, lovingly put that anxiety to bed. Tuck her in, kiss her forehead, and move on.
One specific sentence he said, “affirming the limits of your control brings you peace” really stuck with me because it’s such a simple way to say you shouldn’t worry about the things you can’t control because you will worry forever. All you can do is give your best effort to everything you do.
How It’s Worked For Me
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve surprised myself with how resilient I actually am because I let myself feel anxious instead of spiraling. It’s helped me set boundaries, try new things (like this blog!), and be a more supportive, grounded friend. The biggest win? I no longer go into crisis mode every time my anxiety taps me on the shoulder.
Practice, Practice, Practice!
So here’s your homework (the fun kind): practice the four steps above the next time you feel anxious. Screenshot them if you must. Try them, tweak them, make them yours. Anxiety is never a one-shoe-fits-all situation — and girl, we all know we have different shoe sizes.
You’ve got this. And your anxiety is not the enemy — she’s just a little dramatic sometimes.
Journal Prompts
Identify the ways you currently handle your anxiety. Based on what you’ve learned from this post, is there anything you want to do different?
What unfamiliar situation has been triggering anxiety lately, and how can I make it feel safer or more predictable?
What’s something I’m anxious about that’s actually outside of my control? How would it feel to release it?